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The bedroom is one of the most dangerous places in the world.
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R.D. Laing, Eros, Love and Lies
Dr. Lisa Firestone speaking on “Characteristics of an Ideal Relationship” view now
 Although sexuality is one of the greatest pleasures in life and a special opportunity for gratification and fulfillment, it represents an aspect of life that is complex and difficult, and sometimes even traumatic. Both men and women are confused about themselves as sexual beings and are vulnerable to destructive internal voices and self-attacks that have been incorporated during their developmental years.
What is the definition of “healthy” sexuality?
Healthy sexuality can be defined as a natural extension of affection, tenderness, and companionship between two people. When both partners are fully present, in close emotional contact with each other, and enjoying the spontaneous giving and receiving of affection and sexual pleasure, their lovemaking contributes significantly to their emotional well-being and overall satisfaction in life.
 Why do many people seem to have difficulty combining love and sex?
Although people feel especially gratified when a sexual experience has also been emotionally satisfying, they have a good deal of resistance to that combination. This resistance arises in part because genuinely loving sexuality represents a significant intrusion into people’s psychological defenses. Lovers frequently feel uniquely vulnerable to the possibility of future loss or rejection when they remain close to each other during sex. They are deeply touched to be gratified by another person, yet are painfully aware of how much they stand to lose.
Why does sexual passion often decline in a long-term relationship?
Disturbances in sexual relating arise primarily because at a certain point the defensive processes that both individuals bring to the relationship come into play and limit their ability to continue to enjoy sexual intimacy. Following an initial phase of falling in love usually characterized by exciting sex, emotional closeness, and genuine friendship, many couples develop a fantasy bond. This often takes place after the partners make a significant commitment – to living together, to marriage, or to starting a family. They may revert to a more routinized, mechanical style of lovemaking, experience a decrease in their feelings of attraction for each other, or find themselves making love less often.
Why is sexual jealousy so upsetting?
The discovery or even the suspicion that a mate is sexually involved with someone else disrupts the illusion that one is especially chosen and preferred above all others. Also, in relationships characterized by a fantasy bond, infidelity jeopardizes the delusion of fusion that has functioned as a symbol of safety, security and eternal happiness for each partner.
BOOKS:
ARTICLES:
SEXUALITY DOCUMENTARY SERIES:
BROCHURE:
ASSESSMENT TOOLS:
- The Continuum of Sexual Relating
- Firestone Voice Scale for Sex
WORKSHOPS:
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