How can we best deal with our day-to-day emotional reactions? What can we do when our partner lets us down, when we have a struggle with our child, or when we feel provoked by a friend? Oddly enough, the first piece of advice is to stay with the pain. It turns out we expend much more energy avoiding the pains of our existence than we do when we actually face our feelings. Often, we cause ourselves much more misery through our attempts to defend against our unpleasant emotions. Also, in trying not to feel our feelings, we become unnecessarily defended and many times end up hurting others. We can stand to feel even agonizing feelings. Going toward the pain allows us to feel it and then move on. This process enables us to be more emotionally adaptable. It also makes us more adaptive in how we respond to emotionally challenging interactions. When we face our pain rather than avoid it, we are more likely to wake up feeling refreshed and better the next day, rather than staying stuck with the negative feelings. People who don’t let themselves experience their emotions can become symptomatic, get depressed and anxious, or turn to substances to quell their feelings.